"I go to the club and I work out, and you get some of the fat cats – you know, the rich guys – saying, 'You know you should spend it on education. You should do this and you should do that,' "But the guy who handles the towels says 'Right on, right on.'"

With these words, Premier Ralph Klein, the guy who claims to stand up for the little guy against those “fat cat” oilmen, justifies his preference for handing out more prosperity cheques to Albertans. Read all about it by clicking here.

Here's some questions all you little guys out there who vote for Mr. Klein and his PC party should ask yourself. See if you can figure out if he is on your side of the side of those he calls the “fat cats”.

Question 1. Is Mr. Klein a member of the posh Glencoe where he works out or does he work there along with the towel guys?

Question 2. When Mr. Klein sits down for lunch after his workout who joins him at his table to have a bite and talk about things; - to have a few laughs? The towel guy or the fat cats?

Question 3. Do you believe that Mr. Klein spends more of his time with fat cats or with towel guys? How many towel guys do you think Mr. Klein invites along to his home or to his fishing lodge? How many towel guys have a heart-to-heart with the Premier in his office discussing things like what's best for Albertans?

Get my point?

The reason the fat cats want to spend the surplus on things like education is because Mr. Klein has given them so much over the years that their personal wealth is secure. That's how come they're members at the Glencoe and how come their $400 prosperity cheques would likely get lost in the stack of dividend cheques from Imperial Oil, Encana and the like. That's also why these guys give wads of cash to the PC party. They want to make sure the wealth keeps flowing their way.

Question 4. Mr. Little Guy, how much do you receive in dividends from Imperial Oil, Encana and the like?

Question 5. Do you grasp the significance of the following equation?
Tiny royalties==>Big Oil Company Profits===>Big Dividends===>Glencoe Club Membership===>Lunch with Premier Klein===>Tiny royalties . . . . . . . etc.

Question 6. Do you think Mr. Klein's policies of having one of the lowest minimum wage rates in Canada as well as toxic anti-union legislation has helped your wages or do you think it has helped feed company profits?

Mr. Klein once was one of the little guys and he still knows how to put on the act. But all the little guy gets these days is a free pancake if you show up at a PC fundraiser and maybe; just maybe, another $400 prosperity cheque.

I don't know which Tory I admire more when it comes to extracting taxpayer money for their own personal use. There are so many worthy candidates to choose from.

Admittedly the Klein government has set things up so it is pretty easy for Tories to get at our money. Performing government contracts where the deliverables are strictly oral in nature ala Rod Love and Kelly Charlebois is but one example of this. (Hmmm. What exactly is an oral deliverable; - but I digress).

Tory leadership contender Mark "It's deductible!" Norris has also dreamed up a fine scheme. His boys set up a company called GLG Consulting Ltd., that pays Mark $10,000 a month for, - you guessed it, consulting. The company's major customers are well-heeled Tories who ponied up $10,000 to GLC. (These big shooters like to work in nice round $10,000 chunks.) They then claim these contributions as a business expense which means they get a tax deduction. Neat eh! The taxpayer doesn't pay for this directly, just indirectly. This makes it nicer.

Good as these schemes are, they don't top my favorite which was implemented by the old master himself, our beloved Ralph Klein. In the recent cabinet shuffle, Ralph appointed a few of his long time loyal Tory MLAs to cabinet positions. Two guys named Denis, a George and a Barry somebody. As cabinet ministers they get $58,000 above and beyond the $71,000 they earn as an MLAs. But the real genius in this scheme is that this gift from their leader is one that keeps on giving. These guys are all long time MLAs and the pension plan is based on years of service plus the best two years of salary. If they can hang around for a couple of years that extra $58,000 a year is going to pay off in spades in their pension plans.

If you ever wonder why the Tories call the health care system unsustainable it just might be because they have to spend too much sustaining themselves.

For those Ralph's World readers interested in "Third Way" discussions have a look at this article by Terilyn Paulgaard.

Unlucky #13 refers to Iris & Ralph's private health insurance initiatives. This is what the Tories, including the new leadership contenders, think will make health care sustainable in this province of ours.

Read the article and you be the judge.