Ralph Klein has gone and it is time to retire Ralph's World. Thanks to all of you who have supported this venture by contributing material and through your comments. It has been fun.

Should we get another blog underway? Let me know your thoughts by e-mailing me at johnnyslow@gmail.com.

John Slow
January 1, 2007

Friday, April 30, 2004

A Virtual Trip with Premier Klein 

Premier Klein has taken a lot of heat recently from Alberta Liberal leader Kevin Taft on his use of government aircraft. Click here and here for details. The premier has made it quite clear that he needs the fleet of four aircraft, eighteen staff, and a $4.3 million dollar a year budget because a) they won't let him smoke on commercial flights and he likes to smoke and b) they make him wait in lines at commercial airports and he doesn't like to wait in lines. Seems reasonable to me.

However, the Premier also realizes that this is one of those Alberta Advantages that only he and his close friends get to benefit from so he has asked the folks at Ralph's World if they can create a sort of virtual Alberta Advantage on the web that will enable all Albertans to share with the premier, the joys of having your own fleet of airplanes which is paid for by the taxpayer.

We have gladly obliged.

What we have decided to do is take you on a number of virtual business trips that the Premier makes with the Premier acting as your guide and mentor. That way, when you come in after a hard day on the tractor, or after finishing the late shift of your second minimum wage job, you can log on to Ralph's World and relax as Premier Klein takes you on an exciting trip on one of our aircraft. If you find your blood boiling at the thought of $4.3 million a year being spent on the Premier's planes it helps to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and pretend that they are your planes. And they are sort of. You pay for them; you just don't get to use them. And that's why the Premier wants you to come along with him on these virtual trips. It's his way of sharing.

For our very first trip we are going to fly to the beautiful Nova Scotia Resort of Fox Harb'r. You can click here if you want to see their website. This was a place that the Premier recently visited and he likes it very much, particularly because it has it's own airstrip and he can almost fly right to his suite.

All set? Buckle up! Here we go! Hint. Use your mouse to pretend you are
actually flying the plane! Scroll down to start your trip.

Hi there Albertans. My name is Ralph Klein and I am the Premier of Alberta. I'm going to take you flying with me on one of my our planes. You can call me Captain Ralph, King Ralph, Mr. Premier, or Mr. Klein. Just don't call me Ralph.This is going to be a real trip for me and a virtual trip for you. I know I'm going to have fun and I bet you do too.See all those French fried potatoes? Well I ordered two plates of them. A real one for me and a virtual one for you. We need to eat a lot of food on our important business trips but I think that's part of the fun. Don't you think it's fun too?Enjoy!

Private Tours

Today we are going to take my favourite aircraft. I park it in the reflecting pool just north of the legislature buildings. You know, where people have those demonstration things. Captain Ralph's an important busy person so he can't spend time going to the airports where ordinary people go.Last time when we took off we knocked three silly seniors who were demonstrating about something right into the pool. Guess they won't be needing our government nursing homes anymore. Ha! Ha! Ha!.Buckle up! Here we go! Smoke 'em if you have 'em.

Accomodations Photo

Here we are at Fox Harb'r. It has a pretty golf course and light house and boats. It is in Nova Scotia where I like to do a lot of my business. What a Premier does most is network. Can you say network? Would you like to stop here and help the Premier network? I knew you would.I sometimes network sixteen hours a day which is very tiring. That's why I like to network at a place that has a golf course so I can relax after work.

Relaxing Picture

Here we are in the networking room at Fox Harb'r. The nice lady is called Mimi and she helps me and you and the people we network with relax. She brings us anything we want to drink. Would you like to have a virtual martini? Have as many as you want. What I love to have is a nice cold near beer.It is always important to give helpers like Mimi a big big tip because they will be even nicer to us next time we come here and it makes as feel very important. Do you feel important? I know I do.

Casual DInning Picture

Here we are relaxing after a hard day of networking and golf. This lady's name is Doreen and she helps us relax too. Remember! Don't forget to give Doreen a big big tip!Sometimes I wear a disguise so that people won't recognize that it's really me. Here I am with my favourite grey wig and fake goatee. I keep lots of costumes in the plane. Why don't you go put one of them on and dress up with me?

Well here we are on our way back to Alberta. We are stopping of in Toronto to take in a Rolling Stones concert. We can do some more networking here but you have to make sure you don't talk to any Liberals. That lady beside me for example, she looks like a Liberal. Make sure you don't give her any tips at all.I'll say bye bye now and let you make your own way home. Hope you enjoyed your trip and that you now have an idea of how hard the Premier works.Hope you'll join me on my next trip. Me and Minister Mark will be going to Mexico.Hosta la Vista!

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