Ralph Klein has gone and it is time to retire Ralph's World. Thanks to all of you who have supported this venture by contributing material and through your comments. It has been fun.

Should we get another blog underway? Let me know your thoughts by e-mailing me at johnnyslow@gmail.com.

John Slow
January 1, 2007

Thursday, May 06, 2004

A visit with the Public Accounts Committee 

There has been considerable press regarding Premier Klein's appearance before the Public Accounts Committee. It is coverage like this in the eastern press that really helps build Alberta's reputation as the "go to" Province in Canada. You can read some of this coverage by clicking on the following links. The Globe & Mail, The Toronto Star, and if you want to see some video you can check out The CBC

To put things more in an Alberta context, Ralph's World has taken it upon themselves to create another virtual visit with the Premier so that he can explain his side of the story. He had so much fun on the plane trip to Fox Harb'r (click here), he couldn't wait to do another one.

A Virtual Field Trip to the Public Accounts Committee
Premier Ralph Klein speaks with reporters at the Alberta Legislature in Edmonton, Wednesday. Photo: Darryl Dyck/CP Hi there Albertans. Today we are going to take a field trip to see how the Premier fights off bad people or as my American buddy Dick Cheney likes to call them, "evil doers". These are people who ask where the taxpayer money goes. It's the Premier's job to make sure they don't find out.

This is one of my most difficult tasks. That's why I only do it once every nine years. 
To help the Premier fight the bad people, we "stack"  the committee with good people. All the people you see here are my friends. They are all Tory people and their job is to ask me questions that my employees in my Public Affairs Department write for them. One of my favourite questions they ask is the one I like to call the "Big Tuna Question". One of them asks in a big important voice - "Is it true Mr. Premier that on March 17th for lunch you had a Tuna Salad Sandwich on brown along with a small Diet Coke and paid for it with your own money?"

And then I get to say "Yes that is in fact a veracity. I remember it well. I consumed the aforementioned items while running on my treadmill, over the lunch hour, on my own time, while reading a report on how silly global warming is."

This makes people think I'm honest. My friends ask lots of "Big Tuna" type questions.

The Good People
The Tory Members of the Public Account Committee

Shiraz Cindy Dave Wayne Harvey Alana
Hector Drew Mary Thomas Richard Gary Luke
My employees in the Public Affairs Department write my answers to the questions too so this part of the job is pretty easy for me and my friends. It gives us a break from the real work of government which as I explained to you last time is networking. Did you remember that word? 

Oh! In case your wondering who my little friend top right is, that's Ralphina. She's a little girl hamster that Colleen gave me for Valentine's Day. She brings in a little extra income to the Klein household by serving on the committee and also makes the committee more "gender equal" which my public affairs people tell me is important to Albertans.

I don't know the names of all of these people but I'm sure I've seen that guy bottom centre on Canadian Idol. If you know who it is, please let me know.


The Bad People
The Non-Tory Members of the Public Accounts Committee

These are the bad people. The first three of them are Liberals. I like to call these people left wing nuts. The last one is an NDP person. I like to call them Communists just like my Energy Minister Murray Smith does.
Bad Hugh Bad Laurie Bad Kevin Bad Brian
These people do not ask the questions that my Public Affairs people write for them. They ask questions like "Could you please provide a little more detail on the $1097.00 dollar tip you and Minister Norris left for the concierge and maid at the Four Season's Hotel in Mexico". (Click here for details). That's not fair. The Premier can't remember stuff like that. Especially stuff like that.

Just the other day Liberal Laurie Blakeman asked for proof that my Tory party had reimbursed the government for part of the costs incurred at that lovely golf resort. Remember? We took our first virtual trip there the other day.

Anyway I said "I have no problem, but I want to know is she calling me a liar? She doesn't believe me?

So then she said "It's your responsibility, sir."

This is when I really got her. This is when I yelled. "You don't believe me? You don't believe me? You don't believe me? You don't believe me?" 
Repeating things over and over again really works well. But I don't have to tell you kids that. You kids use that on Mom and Dad when you want that Game Boy don't you?

Well that's it for today Albertans. Sorry we couldn't take one of my planes on this trip. I hope this has provided you some valuable insight into how me and my team work really hard to make your life just a little better.

Until next time!

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