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Ralph Klein has gone and it is time to retire Ralph's World. Thanks to all of you who have supported this venture by contributing material and through your comments. It has been fun.

Should we get another blog underway? Let me know your thoughts by e-mailing me at johnnyslow@gmail.com.

John Slow
January 1, 2007

Thursday, December 08, 2005

The Ant & The Grasshopper & The CEO 


I feel blessed. I do believe I am on the same e-mail distribution list as one of our most esteemed citizens in Alberta.

Let me explain.

Rick Bell of the Calgary Herald wrote an article covering a speech by EnCana CEO and prominent federal Conservative fund raiser Gwyn Morgan; - the esteemed citizen I'm referring to. You can read Rick's article by clicking here and smile back at Gwyn by casting your eyes to the left.

In his speech Mr. Morgan used a Canadianized version of the old Ant and the Grasshopper story. Here's how he put it as described in Bell's article.

He (Mr. Morgan) illustrates his world view telling the fable of the ant who works hard and achieves while the grasshopper plays. The ant stays warm in winter while the cold hopper calls a press conference covered by the CBC which broadcasts to clueless Canadians stunned at the plight of the lazy insect.

The NDP and others demonstrate, the Liberals tax and fine the affluent ant who moves to the States and is a success.

A couple months later, the fat grasshopper gobbles the last of the ant's food while the ant's house, which the hopper now inhabits, crumbles and the government calls a commission after lack of funding is seen as the problem.

To conclude this parable, the grasshopper dies of a drug overdose and the NDP blames it on the government. "How Canadian is that!" states a pleased Morgan.

This sounded strikingly similar to an e-mail I had received a few days ago from a friend on mine who swings with those on the extreme right of the political spectrum. After a little searching I found that e-mail. Here it is.

To:johnnyslow@gmail.com

Hey Johnny. Stick this in your commie pipe and smoke it!

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant
is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so
he dies out in the cold.

THE END


THE CANADIAN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."

Sven Robinson rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to polls, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The ant moves to the US, and starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

THE END

That's the e-mail. Look's kinda familiar don't you think.

Here's a summary of the ant and the grasshopper story for those that like to keep their perspective of life in simple tablular form. Colour has been used as a visual aid to help readers remember what is right and what is wrong.

Conservative Ant good
Liberal Grasshopper bad
Canadians other than conservatives bad
CBC bad
NDP bad
CAW in particular and unions in general bad
Poverty elimination groups bad
Inuit in particular and aboriginals in general bad
Sven in particular and gays in general bad
Taxes bad
Roy Romanow bad
Toronto Star bad
Immigrants bad
Multicultural diversity bad


I'll keep you posted on any other e-mails that Gwyn and I get.

Update December 10th - 9:30 AM: An alert reader just e-mailed me that the Ant and Grasshopper story has just been posted on the Charles Adler website as one of "Chuck's Favorites". You can check it out here. Nice to see the Conservative boys talking with one voice these days.
Posted by: John Slow / 2:10 p.m. link

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