Ralph Klein has gone and it is time to retire Ralph's World. Thanks to all of you who have supported this venture by contributing material and through your comments. It has been fun.

Should we get another blog underway? Let me know your thoughts by e-mailing me at johnnyslow@gmail.com.

John Slow
January 1, 2007

Friday, January 27, 2006

"Third Way" Makes Debut 

“There may be violations (of the Canada Health Act) but we don’t know yet because there are all kinds of steps to go through. But hemorrhoids are uncomfortable.”

With these carefully weighed words at a press conference yesterday Premier Klein provided a glimpse into the future of two-tier health care in Alberta. He went on to say that in Alberta people have to wait up to a year to receive treatment for hemorrhoids and those with money should be able to receive quicker treatment to relieve their suffering.

Alberta Health spokesperson Grace Perogee fielded reporter’s questions and provided additional details on the government’s new hemorrhoidal initiative.

“The Conservative caucus has enthusiastically endorsed the nine point plan for virtually eliminating pain and suffering from hemorrhoids for those Albertans that can afford it” she said. “Many caucus members related heartbreaking stories of their own personal battles with the diabolically debilitating disease. There wasn't a dry eye in the room”

"What we envision is a number of private clinics situated throughout the Province," Ms. Perogee went on to say. "We’ll leave it up to private industry how they staff their facilities and what type of hemorrhoidal extraction methodologies they use. We want to encourage innovation and we want sufferers to have choice of how they get those nasty suckers out of, you know, down there. We will insist that all new facilities rigorously police themselves and operate to the highest standards of cleanliness they feel they can afford. "

When asked if the government would dictate how much could be charged for the hemorrhoidectomies she responded that price would be left strictly to the market. "They can charge by the hemorrhoid or by the pound, we don’t care. They only involvement we will have as a government is ensuring that the wait times for the procedure in the public system remains no less than one year. This should provide a steady stream of clients for the new facilities."

In addition to her duties as spokesperson for Alberta Health Ms. Perogee is also co-owner and operator with her husband Pete of the Ponoka Six Minute Minilube and Hemorrhoid Removal Palace.

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